The Expectations

A word of advice when it comes to my blog: keep your expectations low. Like, real low. But overall, please expect to:

  1. Be offended. My target audience really is like-minded people to myself; people that appreciate a good glass/bottle of wine, a bit of law breaking, some swearing, a good read, globetrotting, but at the end of the day, laughs; solid, make you dribble in your pants laughs.
  2. Get off the beaten track travel advice and insight. My travel motto has always been ‘Get loco with the locals’. Anyone who speaks Spanish or knows the Ricky Martin song knows ‘loco’ means ‘crazy’. And although I do frequent Lonely Planet’s ‘must-see’ tourist spots while traveling, I also make a point to befriend/kidnap a local stranger and request/demand they show me the hidden gems. *Spoiler Alert* I’ve given away the ending – that, right there, is the best travel advice I can give – meet local people and experience local things.
  3. Get the real ‘E True Hollywood Story’ side of things. No smoke and mirrors.
  4. Get sad. I will tell sad stories, sorry. I will tell happy stories too (of course!!), but traveling is not always honkey dory and sights you see can hurt the heart. Like the time I saw a donkey get hit by a transport truck in Morocco.
  5. Laugh and relate. Most likely at my expense (which is perfectly ok!!), but I also hope you find a bit of yourself or your quirky traveling mate in my tales.
  6. Catch the worst bug of all…the travel bug! I hope my blog motivates some of you to set off on an adventure. Our world is so cool, GET OUT THERE!!

On the other hand, you’ll be disappointed if you expect:

  1. Posts/photos about (good) food. I am not a foodie. I once ate Steak & Shake four times within a 24 hour span in Ibiza because a) I was constantly in a hungover state, b) it was easy and cheap, and c) I felt like recreating the David Hasselhoff cheeseburger video time and time again.
  2. Good spelling/grammar. I will try my best, but my mind moves faster than my post-Space self to Steak & Shake, so moments and sentences may not make sense sometimes. Apologies!
  3. Cheesy quotes about travel. Travelling is NOT the only thing you buy that makes you richer. Ask anyone who has won the lottery.
  4. Hand holding advice on where to go and what to do. Travels are super personal and you need to own them; where one person may like to shop and dine classily while in Paris, my priorities while there were locating house music and finagling my way into the most exclusive club in the city (shout out to Chez Raspoutine). This was proceeded by dancing on tables and drinking copious amounts of (free) Dom Perignon all night. As they say, to each his own.
  5. Constant updates. Unless this does become my job (please God, let it), I am not very due-diligent at blog keeping. I promise to make a concerted effort though. Pinky swear.